Sunday, December 9, 2007

HOW not TO PREPARE FOR A RACE...KP in post flying form!

Ian and I have returned to Oz to escape the coldest months of the UK, to train in glorious sunshine and also partake in a couple of races along the way. Already I am a tanned red, a deep lobster colour to be precise. To add to my tanned looks I have the added features of mozzie bites from head to toe and I can no longer call myself a I sadly consumed at least three flies on my training ride yesterday...sorry.
Anyway I have been in Oz for 5 mornings since we touched down in Sydney on Thursday at 8:30am to be precise. I have already experienced my first race of the season, so a detailed report of how not to race will be up ever so shortly....In the mean time here are my ten points on how to prepare for a race if you really want to SUFFER!

(1) Spend 6 weeks working on your base, that requires endless 6hr rides on the turbo bopping away to Kylie and Eminem.
(2) Travel for 25hrs from one point of the globe to the next 2 days before race.
(3) Don't sleep at any point of flight, and ask pilot for an extra dosage of turbulance just to make you feel alive.
(4) Don't recover from flight, but drive for 8hrs non stop, and if you really want to test yourself then take three wrong turns and add an hour on to travel time.
(5) Forget to pack sun cream and mozzie repellant so you can look and feel your best.
(6) Wake up at 4am on the day of race.
(7) Eat really close to race so you can experience nausea.
(8) Make sure you have a really bad start so you don't go anywhere on the first lap.
(9) Split your rear tyre on the second lap, don't even think about fixing it, so you can work harder up the climbs.
(10) Keep smiling...and remember 'Pain is an emotion and emotion is to be enjoyed!'

I will be back again shortly with my race report and photos of me chopped in half as Ian is not a Joolze Dymond when it comes to photography. Just so you know, besides the fatigue, pain, nausea and clumbsiness....really enjoyed racing again and had a fantastic weekend at the third round of the Australian National Championships.

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